how funny is this... was just cleaning out some drafts in my blog and found this one. written two years ago, but still applicable to present day. so much for natural causes...
our family is drowning in cat crap and pee.
elliott has found that he loves the tile entry instead of the litter box.
it is really most excellent when going to leave the house and running smack into this foulness.
my husband is about snap his little Himalayan neck.
seriously.
we've been to the vet - it's not a medical condition.
it's behavioral. we ain't about to spend hundreds of dollars on a psychologist.
sigh. and we don't have the energy or patience currently.
is it wrong to hope natural causes come soon?
yes, i know it is.
anyone want a cat?
every now and then i get a little bit nervous that the best of all my years have gone by
every now and then i fall apart
and i need you now tonight
i need you more than ever
and if you'll only hold me tight
we'll be holding on forever
turn around bright eyes
summarized eclipse
really - here are the pics of Tracy's wedding last weekend. Tracy and I have been best friends since we were two. We've stuck by each other through many chapters, and a new one is starting for her. I'm often forgetful to seek happiness, instead just waiting around for it to find me. Well, Tracy's seeking it and finding it. All my love to the newlyweds.
tracy
tracy and her folks. dick and sandy have been my second set of parents. when i was growing up, if i wasn't at my house, i was across the street at theirs. wonderful people - i'm very lucky to have them around me.
tracy and me
tina, tracy and me. the three t's - knocking out another wedding like rock stars.
Janna, Krissy, me, Tina. ALMOST all my girls - Jen was in the hospital with new baby Danner who arrived a wee bit earlier than planned. I've known these lovelies since elementary school - well Tina, Tracy & Janna are fellow North Bend Elementary alums. Kristen and Jen actually went to Snoqualmie Elementary (where the sluts are five miles west of NB), but we accepted them as friends at Snoqualmie Middle School.
Krissy Tits. Size H - that's right, all you B cuppers.
Natey and Tina - one of the veteran married couples in our group. love me some Natey.
tracy and charles (aka uncle chazzy). a bad picture, but one of the only pics i have of charles... the happy couple dancing.
was realizing tonight how often i use the words "don't" and "no". basically our co-op preschool handbook had me realizing this. instead of "don't eat the barbie boot", you're supposed to say "barbie boots are for barbie feet" or "we only put food in our mouths".
yet, another thing she can blame me for when she's thirteen.
good...
lovin' my job.
lovin' my mental freedom.
rock on.
finally got out of my job from hell! it took a full day to realize that i don't have to think about or stress about the job. this weekend was so frackin' pleasant. today felt like it went on and on and on. never was my mind bombarded with the pending work shit that normally is there. very cool to have my mind all to myself. very much feel free.
tra-la-la start my new old job at casey family programs tomorrow morning.
it's a short lived life, don't worry all you militants out there.
ate TOO much colby jack cheese just now.
with triscuits.
my favorite.
talking to jj on the phone and tell him i want to throw up.
he says go for it, it might make you feel better (supportive husband that he is),
he says, i've done it when i ate too much mcdonalds.
so, ok, i'll give it a go.
in bathroom, attempting to gag myself with fingers.
what happens?
puke?
no.
just peed my pants.
that's right.
peed my pants.
no puke.
i'm sure that happens to nicole richie all the time.
so, lessons learned tonight.
1) i am not good at making myself throw up - need to remember this prior to indulging in too much cheese
2) always go to the bathroom prior to purging. nothing like childbirth to screw this up for me.
Oh gross, gross, gross. Suzanne Whang is a lovely Asian woman who hosted one of my favorite HGTV shows, House Hunters. She was pleasant and nice, and a little cheesy too. NOW, Star Jones is hosting it. Oh no, no, no. She grosses me out. The post weight-loss Star creeps me out and her voice is creepy when she's talking about real estate.
I'm bumming. However, I will be fine. Don't worry.
Posted by
PJoyLynn
10:05 PM
So, it's been on my mind as of late which albums are my favorite - you know the list of what I would bring if I was stranded on an island somewhere. and i am not cheating for picking double albums these are my rules.
Here's what I'm feeling today
1. Bon Jovi - New Jersey
2. Beatles - White Album
3. Los Lobos - Just Another Band from East L.A.: A Collection
4. Pearl Jam - No Code
5. Jeff Black - Tin Lily
tonight i'm sitting here with four electrode thingies stuck to my chest and side, connected to a britney-esque clip-on heart monitor. finally a doctor is looking into these fuckin' palpitations. i'm sure i'm lacking in potassium, or it's nothing.
i've been to the doctor twice this week. seeing a lot of sick people. i got home tonight and asked JJ how it felt to see his 31 year old wife hooked up to medical equipment. he summed it up best. it makes it seem real. indeed.
but.
i'm not obsessing.
ok, maybe just a little.
reading back through the life of this blog?
go ahead and read some of my first posts.
i'll wait.
do you see how carefree and silly I was prior to June 2005?
you all know what happened then.
i became the corporate whore.
sold my goodies to the highest bidder.
one year later.
look where i am.
still nuts.
just too fried to be silly about it now.
My mom's mom turned 80 last week. The family threw a party for her this weekend with the whole fam there along with a bunch of old people I didn't know. We even wore name tags.
Unbeknownst to the grandchildren (9 of 12 present at the party), we were asked to tell our favorite grandma story from growing up. Ugh - no time to prepare - childhood memories are such a blur when put on the spot. My sister bailed on standing up in front of the 40 people present (as did a few other cousins), but I got up there with Liv and spouted off something or other about her being wonderful, a great role model, always there for us, yada yada - but felt bad because my grandma deserved better! She deserved all my loving childhood memories because she's always been my favorite grandma. So, JJ suggested I come blog about it since, of course, even in the car home I started thinking of some memories...
1) She always stood just outside her door or in the driveway and waved goodbye to us until she couldn't see the car anymore
2) She makes the most wonderful creamy, buttery mashed potatoes. Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house were the best! I would eat nothing but mashed potatoes (no gravy, only butter), rolls (with butter), and turkey.
3) She is the central repository for family addresses. She keeps up with every one of her grandkids and sends birthday cards religiously even to all the grandkid spouses.
4) She was happy and excited to watch Liv when I went back to work and needed someone to help. She loved it when we spent the night and had dinner together. She'd do anything she could to help any one of us out.
5) I love Grandma's laugh. She has a wonderful sense of humor and appreciates my sarcasm. I think I'll always hear her saying in my mind, "Oh, Tricia!"
6) I was attempting to make a quilt for my best friend. And, did not plan it well nor did I have enough fabric, etc. I ended up being a royal mess. Well, she and my aunt rolled up their sleeves and helped me figure it out, and made a fantastic looking quilt.
7) I'm riddled with headaches - started when I was a kid. Grandma gives the best neck and shoulder massages.
8) My sister and I would earn extra money in the summers by going with her to clean houses. Hard, hard work - and my grandma did it year round.
9) In thinking back, there isn't a major family milestone that my grandma wasn't a part of. She was there for all the birthday parties, all the graduations, all the weddings. It was a big deal for her to miss my sister's college graduation (the first college grad on that side of our family) when it conflicted with my cousin's wedding.
10) Great big kisses and hugs upon arrival and departure of any meeting.
She's just a kick-ass grandma - the kind every one of us should have. Here's a picture of me and her from the party this weekend.
i stayed home from work today with a cold. nothing so bad that i'm confined to the bed, but glad i didn't go to work.
jim took liv to the zoo. they've been gone for about three hours.
do you realize what that means?
i'm all alone in the apartment.
by myself with the cats.
total and complete silence.
total freedom to do what i want.
so, what did i do you ask?
well, let me tell you.
i took a long shower first, didn't have to worry about being quiet, it wasn't pre-dawn but daylight. lovely.
worked in photoshop for awhile making my grandma's birthday invitation.
now i'm blogging.
it's great.
now i think i'll take a nap.
kellie pickler singing bohemian rhapsody.
hurts ears.
can't watch.
Posted by
PJoyLynn
6:24 PM
so i'm making scrambled eggs.
jj bought Naturally Nested eggs - package reads Eggs Laid by Uncaged Hens.
why does this make me want to be vegan?
is it now because the labeling has told me that i'm eating an unborn free chickie?
i know these things are more healthful, but it somehow seems wrong.
i guess at least the hens are living the good life.
or maybe it's because me and liv watched chicken run a couple weeks ago.
fuck. i put too much milk in - now they're runny scrambled free birds.
i'm jealous all the time.
jealous of the skinny people who at 6am are halfway into their elliptical workout, with their skinny asses and legs running around in circles. like rabbits. jealousy so deep it feels like seething anger, but i know it's low self esteem. which is manifesting itself into a wee bit of self hatred because i'd much rather eat a bag of tortilla chips and jalapeno cheese dip while cuddled up under my down comforter in bed watching american idol than living that active lifestyle jenny craig preaches about.
jealous of the people who stay at the fairmount fancy fuck hotel across the street from my work. you know, those people who could just drop 5K on a couch for their cat's sitting room. those people who pass by me in the luxury cars with nummy leather seats with seat warmers and kick ass stereos. those people who could go to the spa every week for massages and pedicures and manicures and fruit fusion body wraps.
jealous of the people who update their blogs and who are connected to people in this online community.
jealous of my husband who stays home with our daughter, but know if I was the one home I'd be writing about how jealous I was because I wasn't the one working.
jealous of people who can go out for happy hour after work without missing out on their four hours of time allotted each day for their daughter.
jealous of people who travel and spend weeks in a foreign country. those people who have the freedom, the time, the money to see the world.
jealous of people who are doing what they love and not sitting a fucking gray cubicle looking at meaningless numbers listening to people saying "we're gonna go ahead and book amortization expense for these tax credit investments, but need you to develop a risk mitigation plan if the expense is booked in April instead of March". why was i in such a rush to be a finance major in college? add onto this one, jealous of people who received real coaching or mentoring in college and explored different options.
jealous of people who don't have credit card debt which is like a flesh eating virus to my self esteem that is slowing carving a big L into my forehead. aforementioned finance major.
jealous of people who have normal cats.
maybe i should stop reading US magazine and stop watching so much reality TV and stop reading silly romance novels. put garbage in, get garbage out. how does that saying go... could've, should've, would've. i make the decision to turn my attitude and self esteem around at least 3 times a week. the follow through is lacking.
grass is always green.
no matter which side your on.
i gots lots of good around me too.
sometimes the good for me myself and i is missing.
even i know i'm good.
just nutters.
i could be worse.
right?
>>>add affirming comment below
what a lame blog.
who's updating this shitty piece of shit anyway?
i'm surprised my husband hasn't logged on and created a post for me.
hello all you bloggie fans of mine.
isn't vacation a sweet thing?
i actually wanted to bake cookies today or make soup today.
and i actually verbalized that i felt like having another baby.
day 5 away from the corporate grind and i'm domesticating.
a wonder to me.
and i don't want another baby.
realized that when i was wrangling in the super juiced energy ball known as Olivia.
while refilling my presription for my happy pills.
but i did really enjoy making chicken corn chowder.
my grandma evens wants the recipe.
amazing how easily i fit into a personality bucket by answering 4 questions.
and i know i appear serious ALL the time.
ISFJ
Ok. You are sympathetic, loyal, considerate, and conscientious. You will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to you, to help those in need. You are responsible and enjoy being needed. You are down-to-earth and realistic and like others who are quiet and unassuming. You absorb and enjoy using a large number of facts.
You like situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld. You focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations you serve. You have a strong work ethic.
You can be painstakingly accurate and systematic in handling tasks...you're conservative with traditional values...quiet and modest...tactful and supportive of friends and family...
You are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and are willing to make necessary sacrifices, especially for your family. You are at your best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in order.
You have a few close friends, don't like disharmony, and try to keep cooperation at all costs...you'll stay close friends with that tight circle for a LONG time...worry a lot...
You need to have things organized in a way you think works.. you cannot work when things are out of order...when things are in disarray, you have to reorganize 'em immediately....you get involved with leisure ONLY after all the work is done...
You have a tendency to put off relaxing because there's too much work to be done...you enjoy time with your family...you fall in love hard when you fall. You place a high value on marriage and family...you seek out a partner and feel unfulfilled without one. you most likely are a good student because you diligently follow through in your work to please your teachers.....you learn best by DOING...
You tend not to be the center of attention...often appear serious...others like trying to get a laugh or a smile out of you...you get angry or bitter when scorned...but you keep it inside...
Possible blindspots: because you are SOOOO in the present, you have a hard time seeing possibilities or consequences of your actions...can become mired in the daily grind...don't forget to express your bottled-up feelings...you can be taken advantage of....could be pessimistic about the future because it's unknown and you rely on past experiences.....you want to plan too much.
ISFJ: "I Serve Family Joyfully"
Posted by
PJoyLynn
9:25 PM
july 11
august 11
september 11
october 11
four months since i've been here.
what have i been doing you ask?
corporate america has sucked all my blog energy.
and eats into the way i live my life.
mother fuck.
when did this happen to me?
gotta find some zen.
